Idiots Return to Nation’s Zoos

PHILADELPHIA – As warm spring weather arrives, idiots return to zoos nationwide to embarrass their children and infuriate fellow visitors.

At America’s oldest zoo in Philadelphia, one moron points to a chimpanzee cage and tells his son, “That’s a gorilla, Billy. They love to eat bananas and climb skyscrapers.”

“Many people have never seen ‘Wild America’ or spent a day outside a city,” said veteran zookeeper John Marshall. “That’s why there’s at least one winner every year who tells his kid that lions are the daddies and tigers are the mommies.”